Znalazłem bardzo ciekawy wywiad z Peterem Steele'em - a właściwie obszerne fragmenty wywiadu z nim - i postanowiłem go wkleić tu w całości, żeby nie zginął razem z jakąś stroną w sieci, na której do tej pory ocalał. Tak jakby mój blog miał istnieć wiecznie... Przy okazji, ile to już miesięcy od założenia tej stronki? Rekordowo długowieczny blog - ale mniejsza z tym.
Oddajmy głos człowiekowi, którego bardzo polubiłem, chociaż poznałem go bliżej dopiero kilka lat po jego śmierci. Nie trzeba być nawet fanem jego muzyki, żeby przeczytać to z ciekawością - tak myślę, ale mogę się mylić. Jego stosunek do samego siebie i poczucie humoru są mi bardzo bliskie. Jego życiowa droga była ciekawa. Mam wrażenie, że istnieje pewne powszechne nieporozumienie co do niego, być może nakręcane przez show-business, który potrzebuje zawsze afer i skandali. Z mądrego, wrażliwego człowieka materiał na gwiazdę byłby słaby. Na szczęście zdążył narobić niezłego bajzlu w swoich młodszych latach i ugruntować wtedy swój wizerunek gotyckiego łobuza - może bez tego jego zespół nie zdobyłby takiej sławy, a my nigdy byśmy o nim nie usłyszeli?
Zresztą, zrobić burdel w młodości, a potem się pokajać i trafić do Nieba to sprawdzona strategia, co najmniej od czasu świętego Franciszka. W ten sposób bierzesz wszystko: najpierw ruchasz wszystkie dziewczyny, a potem i tak łapiesz się na życie wieczne. Trzeba tylko uważać, żeby przypadkiem nie odwalić kity przed spowiedzią. No i nie zapomnieć o prawdziwej pokorze, co jest pewnie w tym wszystkim najtrudniejsze.
Polecam! [Wywiad polecam.]
An Interview with Peter Steele of Type O Negative By Charlie Steffens, aka Gnarly Charlie, for KNAC.com, Oct. 22, 2007:
ON ROCK N' ROLL
"I believe that the true definition of a rock band is to upset people and that's the reason rock became rock in the late '50s, because the country was pretty right-wing. So when rock came out — being left-wing — that upset people. I will admit to being slightly right-wing. I consider myself to be a conscientious conservative. I am pro-police, pro-government, and pro-parent. Because the country has shifted so far to the left that even if you are mid-wing, still you are upsetting people. So, all these trendoid rock bands are just preaching to the choir. I have, in the past, gone out of my way to upset people and fortunately it worked. That's why I can say CARNIVORE and TYPE O NEGATIVE are true rock bands, because your parents aren't going to like this music. And if they do like it you better find different parents."
ON INSPIRATION
"I've always liked orchestral music, especially marching music like John Phillip Sousa. I also play sousaphone and tuba. And I play string bass. I guess you could call bass a guitar, so to speak. But I was always fascinated by the definition of functions, like what makes a bass player a bass player. I got the answer. The answer is you are the bridge between rhythm and harmony. You gotta go with the drums but you gotta fill the bottom end at the same time. That's a bassist. Which disqualifies me; because I play bass/rhythm guitar and I play mostly chords. A failure again."
"My life is not so exciting that I could document it verbatim and make it into an interesting song. So I have to exaggerate. I take a few different things that really did happen and I string them together and make it into one song. On 'Bloody Kisses' there's a song, 'Death In The Family', and everyone thinks it's about a woman. It was about a cat that I had since I was 17 that died. My life is pretty boring. It mostly revolves around Saturday morning cartoons and TV dinners. Like, I really wanted to marry Mrs. Swanson. If she fucked the way that she cooked then I'd be very happy, because I would know what I was going to get every time. Either way it's going in the oven, right?"
ON OUTSIDE INTERESTS
"I don't like to go out, because I don't like to be recognized. I don't like to be looked at. I really don't like to be onstage, but however, I'm a masochist, so it's the perfect punishment."
ON HIS MODELING CAREER
"I was unaware that Playgirl was a gay publication. I was under the impression it was for lonely housewives or something. It doesn't matter to me it was just a publicity stunt. That's all it was. I kind of regret it because I feel like I exploited myself, but when management is telling you to do it and the band's telling you to do it and the record company's telling you to do it… and they offer one page and then three and then the cover and then the centerfold. 'You'll sell so many albums if you do it.' And I go, 'I'll fuckin' do it.' The greatest part about it was it kind of escalated. They had me on their 'Ten Sexiest Rockers' issue, and I don't know why they chose me to come in for a headshot. This head. The one on top of my neck (laughs). And so I go down there and they say, 'You wanna take your shirt off?' and I say, 'Sure.' I happened to bathe that month so it was okay. Then they pretty much made me an offer that I couldn't refuse, to pose nude and this and that. I have read Playboy. It's as classy as pornography can get. Nice layout, I don't think it's demeaning to women. So I'm thinking Playgirl's like that. So they send me these issues and I was underwhelmed a little bit. Thumbing through them I'm thinking, 'Man, all these guys are flaccid. I said I'll do this shoot under one circumsi…I almost said circumcision (laughs). I said, 'I want to be erect.' And they said, 'Oh, do you really think you can do it?' I said, 'You hold your end up by bringing the check and I'll hold mine up.' I go and do it. Apparently I was the first person to have an erect penis during a shoot. So now I'm trying to hide this from all of my family members because I have five older sisters and 9,000 cousins, something like that. So I come in one night and the Playgirl issue is on the dining room table and my mother's sitting there. My sister was in the other room and I said, 'Did Mama see it? You showed it her, right?' She's like, 'Yeah.' I said, 'Well, what did she say?' So my sister says, 'That's why I named him Peter.' (laughs) My mother had a great sense of humor. I'm still a good Catholic boy, deep down. Nothing's funnier than laughing in church."
ON POLITICS
"People ask me, ‘Are you right-wing or left-wing?’ I’m chicken-wing. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid to take sides. I’m a Groucho-Marxist, because I don’t know if it was Duck Soup or one of those movies…he even had a song, being a Groucho-Marxist [he begins to sing] Whatever it is, we’re against it…whatever it is… And that’s Type O Negative’s motto: Whatever it is we’re against it. That’s it. We don’t take sides. We’re against everything."
ON FAITH
“After my mother passed away last year and a couple of other things happened, I pretty much got back to my faith. I was born Roman Catholic. Believe it or not, I go tot church on Sunday and I do read the Bible. But I don’t read it as a how to live your life book. I read it as if I have a question I can open any page. If you’re open minded you will get the answer from a passage. And you will get a different answer if you read the same passage but it will still be just as worthy. “ “I went to confession for the first time in 30 years. And the priest was very happy that I had come back to church and stuff. I didn’t go into each and every sin otherwise he would have to take two weeks vacation (laughs). I said ‘Father I did wrong and I want o apologize to God for my behavior and I’m going to try for it to not happen again.’ It’s better to pay in this life then in the afterlife. So he said “well, make a large donation to your favorite charity, which I did. I’m not going to tell you which charity it was or how much, because that really started me thinking about these so-called charitable people. Charity should be anonymous. If you’re going to get a pat on the back for doing…”Oh, you’re such a great guy. You gave five million dollars—even though you have 50 billion—to South Africa. You’re a great fuckin’ guy.” So I donated my money anonymously and when I had reformed Carnivore I had asked the guys to do just one thing for me. And that was to make a donation anonymously. ‘Don’t tell me, just please, that’s all I’m asking you to do.’ It’s never dome up again and I trust they have. You shouldn’t get a pat on the back for fuckin’ doing the right thing. You should always be doing that. In a great world people would treat each other the way they would like to be treated. My mother always told me if I really didn’t wan to do something, if I was really tired, but if I had helped someone and I really went out of my way for them but I asked nothing for it, that I should donate my energy to the souls in purgatory—meaning that to give my goodness to those who are trapped. This is purgatory/limbo. This is a very Catholic thing that very few people really understand. I just feel that if you always do the right thing in you’re heart, number one, you’re going to get fucked…there’s no doubt. But after death, I think there’s a better place.“
FORGIVENESS AND REDEMPTION
“I’m not radically different, but I am different. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and some of the mistakes I’ve made involve other people. When I get the opportunity I do apologize to them. Sometimes it’s not an easy thing to do and sometimes they don’t accept my apology, which is very painful. I ask why. Sometimes they just don’t want to talk about it. I can accept that, but at least I went. There’s a difference between apologizing and saying you’re sorry. An apology means that you’ve thought about your actions and you think ‘Man, I was a real fuckin’ scumbag. I was an asshole. She didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve that. And I just really want to tell her that I’m sorry.’ And I also want to tell her how it’s not going to happen again. I believe that part of being a Christian is forgiveness. I’m not here to preach. I’m here to warn, more or less. Beautifully, once or twice, a couple of the people who did not accept my apology at first have contacted me and said they thought about my actions and they do accept my apology. I was very grateful, and all I can say to them is ‘The only way I can really make this up to you is by not repeating my behavior.’ I’m still human. I still fuck up. I still sometimes instinctively utilize this same shitty behavior. But a true sin is any action that hurts you, someone or something with forethought and malice. I’ve never really gone out of my way to fuck somebody over, to hurt them. There have been times that I was disrespectful and I was irresponsible. I was a dick. We all make mistakes but I’m very happy that I have the opportunity to apologize for mine. I feel that God will not forgive man until man forgives man.”
HEAVEN AND HELL
“Let’s put it this way. I would find it very hard to believe that Adolph Hitler and Mother Teresa are going to the same place. I guess it’s comforting to believe in some sort of justice. My definition of God is attempting to put a face on physics, mathematics, and chemistry that we have yet to understand. That is my God. Something had to create everything. I lie in bed awake at night freaking myself out. Thinking about going somewhere forever, with the clouds, the harps, the angels, the wings. St. Peter had a secret, and.St. Peter one time questioned God. And he had no right to question God, but God allowed him. God said, ‘Alright. What’s the question?’ If you are so merciful…if you know everything, and you create your children that you know are going to wind up in Hell—why would you bother creating them? And the answer was ‘Because Hell does not last forever’. No one goes to Hell forever. It’s like a waiting room, a Godless place. And Peter goes ‘If you know about mans suffering on earth, why do so many horrible things happen to good people?’ And God said, ‘Because I love them so much that I pour pain upon them so that the transition from life to death will be more profound for them and they will appreciate my gift more than the others.’”
ON CHARITY
“God does not like actors. It has to be heartfelt. I shouldn’t tell you this because it’s almost contradicting myself, but one of the examples of doing some sort of charity anonymously is on my block there are quite a few old people. When it snows I shovel their walk and they have no idea who shovels their walk. Now, I’m not looking for a pat on the back, I’m just trying to make an example. One day I’ll be 75 and maybe somebody will do that for me. That would make me cry.“
PROPHECY
“The closer I get back to God, the more temptation comes my way. As psychotic as this might sound, I have pretty much been told that I am the prophet of doom. I know the date of the end of the world. How do I know so? Because, I’ve been told so. Did I hear a voice? No, I did not. But…there are three others like me. We know of each other, but we do not know each other. I know it and I know what’s going to happen and I am to point out the signs. This is the Seventh Seal. At this point, if this last sign is not acknowledged, God will no longer forgive man and then there will be Hell on Earth. Earth is Heaven, already, without the bullshit, and at the very end, the good thing is, that God will even forgive Satan.” “Ever since I have come back to my faith, such incredibly strange things have been happening. Ten times a day if I ask God for a sign, through numbers and letters I will get it. I believe that God speaks to everyone in a way that only that person can understand, but I have been enlightened…you have to ask to be enlightened. I ask these questions and I get the answers. I don’t hear God’s voice. That satisfies me.” “When I said I have hit rock bottom, it’s not in a bad way–it’s in a good way. I’ve found piece on something solid and now I know what the meaning of life. I’ve always thought that the meaning of life was to try to find something to live for. Now I realize, all this time, it is finding something to die for. It’s been right there all the time I will die for my faith. I am going to. I know it.” “When I do interviews and I lie about everything, people think I’m so serious. When I tell the truth they think it’s hysterical. Who’s going to believe you with the things I have said? I believe myself. Print whatever you want. No one will believe it, I’m sure.”
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Ej, a jeśli w czasie życia wiecznego będzie można zaglądać w przeszłość Kosmosu? Archeologowie [forma "archeolodzy" jest również poprawna, ale zostańmy jeszcze przez chwilę przy tej klasycznej], historycy i rekonstruktorzy historyczni chyba umarliby ze szczęścia (gdyby tylko mogli umrzeć jeszcze raz). Oczywiście, oglądać przeszłość można by było tylko z Nieba, w Czyśću [odjechane słowo, zawsze też fascynowała mnie jego angielska wersja: "Purgatory", jakże mrocznie to brzmi. Na Węgrzech, chyba na obwodnicy Budapesztu, jest kierunkowskaz z napisem "Purgatorium" i nigdy nie wiem, co to jest. Jakiś gotycki klub rockowy? A może po prostu ziemska brama do zaświatów? A może mają tam czyściec dla aut, do którego trafiają wysłużone Ople, na ostatnim odcinku drogi, przed trafieniem na Złomowiska Piekieł? Ale jazda, muszę kiedyś tam zjechać i zobaczyć.] i w Piekle te ekrany nie działają i nie można sobie nic pooglądać. Wyobraźcie sobie teraz takiego rekonstruktora typu "wczesnośredniowieczne zuo", który przez całe życie nakurwia pogo ku chwale Szatana i nagle ku swojemu zaskoczeniu (albo i nie) trafia do piekła, gdzie dowiaduje się, że gdyby był w Niebie, to mógłby swobodnie zaglądać w najgłębsze zakamarki dziejów i sprawdzać, jakie dokładnie w X wieku noszono gacie, kto rzeczywiście tworzył drużynę Mieszka, jak wyglądało jednoczenie ziem plemion polskich, skąd się wzięli Słowianie i tak dalej. Chyba by się zesrał ze smutku, a w Piekle nie ma papieru toaletowego. Tak właśnie może wyglądać piekło: nie ma tam fizycznych tortur, pełno jest natomiast wyrafinowanych... uszczypliwości.
Najgorzej, jeśli ktoś specjalnie chce trafić do Piekła, z nadzieją, że znajdzie tam na przykład gołe baby. Myślę, że tam właśnie nie ma tego, czego mieliśmy w nadmiarze w życiu - i odwrotnie: to, czego brakowało nam za życia, znajdziemy w końcu w Niebie. Jeśli ktoś mieszkał gdzieś głęboko w Afryce i przez całe życie nie miał okazji napić się porządnego piwa, a był dobrym Murzynem, czym zapewnił sobie wjazd do Królestwa Niebieskiego, to właśnie tam czekać na niego będą cysterny najlepszych belgijskich, włoskich i polskich piw. Podawane przez białe kobiety z szerokimi biodrami. Ale dlaczego ja myślę teraz akurat o Niebie dla Murzynów?
P.S. Petrus na pewno nie byłby zadowolony z takiej przesłodzonej laurki na jego temat. Prawdopodobnie dla przywrócenia równowagi pokazałby dupę, jak na okładce jednego z wczesnych albumów, albo coś takiego.
